I Swear…

Far too much apparently.  We’re pretty much over the yucks, but now we have Olympic Fever, so I’m still kind of lacking in the whole motivation to blog department, but this happened last night so I figured I would share.

Soapfi is in the midst of another round of “I can do it”, this time with the added caveat of “all myself”. So it has generated many a frustrating moment for her. Last night she was attempting to put the plastic shoes back on her Calliou doll and was having a rough go of it – they aren’t super hard plastic, but they are still a pain in the azz even for Mommy & Daddy to get on and off his feet, which are the size of the great white north.

After about 90 seconds of frustration she hurls the shoes and the doll across the room, mutters FUDGE (only just like in The Christmas Story she didn’t really say fudge, but instead let slip the mother of all swear words), and buries her head in the carpet and begins to cry.

Of course I’m one of those uncouth parents caught between laughing hysterically because at 2.25 years old she is already only swearing at situationally appropriate times, and with a great deal of panache, being mortified because she might do this in public and it will reflect badly on me & Daddy, and then being indignant that people get so riled up about words they have made taboo because sometimes you just need a good bout of swearing to let it all out.

In the end we let it go without comment, dealt with the frustration and the shoes, and are desperately trying to watch our own potty mouths.

We Went To The Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

I think I’ve pretty much covered all the fun that happened on vacation, so now I’m a few weeks behind on what happened once we got back! The first weekend back from vacation was Mother’s Day and that Saturday was “Mommy & Me Day” at the Woodland Park Zoo.

It was actually a beautiful sunny day here in the greater Seattle area, so we joined what appeared to be every other mother in the general vicinity and tromped down to the zoo. We arrived only an hour after the zoo opened, and all five parking lots were already full – we managed to find some parking on one of the neighborhood side streets not to far from the north entrance, and congratulated ourselves on not having to pay for parking (we are good at turning a planning fail into a win!). We optimistically put Soapfi in the stroller, she had loved being pushed around in the doll stroller while on vacation, perhaps that would translate to the larger stroller (short answer – no!) and tromped off to join the faceless masses converging on the entrance.

As we waited in line under the bright shiny sun, we realized that we had our second planning failure. Sure, we packed sippy cups, a spare binky, diapers, wipes, even a few snacks, but since we’re so used to crappy Seattle weather we completely forgot things like sunglasses, hat, and sunscreen! So our first stop inside the gates was the gift shop to buy over priced sunscreen, hat and sunglasses.  Soapfi was immediately enamored with a pair of tiger sunglasses, and promptly played at being a tiger, but didn’t seem all that interested in actually seeing real tigers.

Once we were inside the gates the crowds dispersed and it didn’t feel nearly as crowded as the parking lots and the line at the entrance had implied. We started to roam around and within five minutes Soapfi wanted to walk. Which lasted five more minutes and then she wanted up. But not back into the stroller up, she wanted to ride on mommy’s shoulders. (Ugh, I had hefted her onto my shoulders once on a walk because it was *slightly* more comfortable than having her on my hip, was trying to get back home fast, and was trying to sidestep a complete total meltdown in public – i.e. I created a freaking “carry me” monster.) 

So since things come in threes, we naturally had a third fail – this one being parenting in nature instead of just planning – I caved and let Soapfi ride on my shoulders so we wouldn’t have to leave via a meltdown only ten minutes after dropping way too much money on sunscreen! We braved the creepy crawly house, Soapfi wasn’t all that keen on the actual bugs on display, but she did like the interactive part of the exhibit, in fact we spent about 15 minutes trying to coax her back out of that little cave!

In the spirit of a truly lazy parent, it was easier to continue to heft her onto my shoulders than do the whole “let’s give everybody a show with a complete and total meltdown in public” by trying to force her to walk or ride in the stroller.  Because, lets face it, I lose either way. I either feed the carry me monster, or I get looked at as the most horrible mommy ever with a kid she can’t control because all they see is a kid crying about wanting to be picked up and I’m the mean bitch who leaves her kid sniveling on the ground. (Does having the same failure twice count as a total of four failures for the trip or just a really extended third failure?)

We managed to see about 1/3 of the zoo before it was nap time and she was too cranky to go on, no matter if she was up on my shoulders or in the stroller. We did manage to see a few fun animals like the giraffes and monkeys. Of course the phrase uttered most often by Soapfi was “more cow”, her favorite part of the zoo was the Family Farm, followed closely by the ice cream stand!

As we are prone to do, we still looked back on the day fondly during the ride home, because we were bound and determine to turn failures into wins and consider it an overall good day!

Attention Span

The almighty “everyone” is always saying that people have shorter and shorter attention spans. “Everyone” is probably referring to me, and has not met my child. It was another weekend where poor daddy had to work lots of overtime, and I was left to my own devices to keep the kidlet entertained.

We ended up going to the park both Saturday and Sunday just so we (okay *ME*) didn’t go stir crazy in the house. Soapfi would have been perfectly content to repeatedly watch 90 minute stretches of Calliou videos, with barely a snack break between hitting replay, for the entire day – but even my lazy “bad parent” side refused to indulge in that monumental of a parenting fail. So we braved the wind and the cold, bundled up in puffy purple coat loveliness and went to the park.

Soapfi loves the park – especially the opportunity to run away from me (I am currently editing together a “backside montage” because 90% of my video from the weekend was of her backside as she ran away). We “played” chase for a good 40 minutes that first day, it only stopped when she became enamored with watching the older kids have baseball practice. It then took me a good 10 minutes to pry her away from that, perhaps this means we’ll have better luck taking her to AquaSox games this spring! The entire ride home was peppered with exclamations of “baseball”.

That evening we played “I like your….” for what seemed like *forever* to me, but was probably only about 15 minutes. It’s one of those things that is fun to start, but then goes on far too long for your adult attention span, or you run out of things to like. (For those who are not acquainted with the intricacies of the game, it goes like this… You say to Soapfi “I like your eyes” and she will reply “I like your eyes too” and then she picks something she likes and it’s your turn to reply. This goes on and on as you take turns choosing a different body part or quality (smile, laugh, cheeks, fingers, teeth, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, ad infinitum since repeats are not only allowed, but encouraged to show you really really like something!)) 

Sunday we went and supported friends who were selling Girl Scout Cookies (nom nom nom nom!!!) and went to a park we’d never visited before. This park had swings, little Soapfi’s head just about exploded with “OMG SWINGS!!!!!!” After a good 25 minutes of “more swing, more swing, more swing” I was forced to bodily remove her against her will, as her little hands were turning blue along with her lips. She was appropriately dressed for the most part, but she refuses to wear “hand hats” (Soapfi speak for mittens), and it was extremely cold and windy out. That lead to a tantrum the entire way home, that was due more to stubbornness than attention span!

That evening we had a rousing game of Monster and Open/Close that, once again seemed to last forever. (This game involves Soapfi sitting in her plastic Little Tykes car and opening/closing the door as Mommy/Daddy enthusiastically (well for the first 30 times) shout “OPEN” or “CLOSED” depending on the status of the door. This can also be modified to “Up/Down” for jumping games or “On/Off” for playing with light switches.) 

Yep, when it comes to attention span, she has one.

Doctor Kisses

A few months ago we began the tried and true “Let me kiss it, and make it better” for all those minor bumps and scratches that, when left unchecked, devolve into a complete and total meltdown even when no blood or visible mark is anywhere to be found.

Apparently our kisses have been insufficient, last night she bumped her chin and this happened:

So now we have regular kisses and the more super strength “Doctor Kisses”. Of course it was really the binky that ultimately made it all better!

And I’m still trying to figure out where she learned that physical injury equated with asking for the doctor. Sure, she has been to the doctor for checkups, earaches, and the cold of all colds that turned into “Pertussis Watch 2012”. But we’ve never reacted to any of her routine falls, bumps, spills, jumps off the couch with bad landings, or scrapes with statements about needing to go see the doctor. If I had to bet, I’d say it was something she saw on Calliou!

P.S. I’m well aware I went overboard with making it a “movie” but I like goofy crap like that, and since our cheap azz video camera doesn’t time stamp the files themselves properly (we have a super special camera that can shoot video an entire MONTH into the future!) I like having the “credits” to document that stuff – cause Lord knows notes about the videos aren’t making it into her baby book!