Everything Is Scary

Hopefully it is only “one of those phases”, but right now Soapfi has pretty much decided *everything* is scary. Some things I understand, the loud noise from the neighbors weed whacker, the barking dogs across the street, and hello – the TV exploding! (The TV has been removed from the den for over a month, but she still points at the cabinet it was on and declare “scary TV”.) But there are other things I’m not quite sure about, because they are perfectly fine one minute, sliced cheese for example, and then suddenly scary the next.

Some of it is probably just for attention, because a declaration of “scary” is often quickly followed by a demand for “up”. But other times I’m not so sure, because she will freeze in place, hug herself and then shiver uncontrollably (which I then feel guilty about because she looks *so* stinking cute, and I know she’s genuinely upset so I don’t want to giggle!).

And it’s over the strangest things, kitchen towels, her crayons, even her sippy cup. I would get the sippy cup if it was one that had rolled under the coffee table, had been forgotten about for a week, and now contained a 5th grade science experiment, but these are sippy cups that had been delivering beverage-y goodness mere moments before.

We are walking the fine line between not wanting to indulge her paranoia, but at the same time not invalidating her real fears. And well, she’s just a little over 2 years old still, it’s not exactly like we can sit her down and rationally explore her feelings through deep meaningful conversation. Most of the time it just goes something like this:

Soapfi: “I scared”

Mommy: “What are you scared of?”

If we are lucky she will point to something specific, but usually she just shivers.

Mommy: “Why are you scared?”

Soapfi: “Because”

Mommy: “Come here and I’ll give you a hug.”

And then sometimes after she crawls into my lap she’ll whisper “All safe”.

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Categories: Parenting | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Everything Is Scary

  1. She’s probably just thinking of something scary, perhaps she couldn’t see you for the briefest of seconds and then tries to name her fear by pointing at something because she can’t explain the ‘lack of you’ fear. Just a thought, but I’d continue to give her hugs. If it continues for a long time then I’d make briefer and briefer hugs, move to pats on the back or head and see if that helps. Good luck!

    • Yeah, she’s definitely a thinker, our Mz Soapfi. She has always been one that wants things explained to her. Once she knows why things work she’s always much happier, that’s part of the frustration, I so desperately want to explain away whatever is scary so she’ll know, but since I don’t know what it is that is scary I can’t really explain it away! We’re definitely trying variations on the hugging routine, like eliminating the picking her up bit, now we just get down on her level and hug her from there, mostly because we created a “carry-me” monster a few months ago and we’re in back pedal mode trying to get her back in the habit of walking herself places instead of asking for “ups”. But that’s probably a whole other topic!!! hahah!!

      • Hahaha, when Kira gets grumpy she wants to be picked up. Not held, just picked up. Then put down, then picked up then down then updownupdownupARGH!

  2. “All safe” is about the sweetest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

  3. Deni Lyn

    I love the little story at the end! “All safe.” It’s adorable.

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